Where the theory comes from

British psychiatrist John Bowlby first proposed attachment theory in the 1950s, arguing that infants have an evolved need for proximity to a caregiver, not just for food and safety. Developmental psychologist Mary Ainsworth tested this directly in the 1970s with the "Strange Situation" — observing how infants responded to a caregiver leaving and returning — and from those responses identified the original secure, anxious and avoidant categories. Mary Main and Judith Solomon later identified a fourth pattern, fearful-avoidant (or disorganized) attachment, in the mid-1980s. In 1987, Cindy Hazan and Phillip Shaver extended the framework from infant-caregiver bonds into adult romantic relationships, and it's been a major thread in relationship research ever since.

This section is educational, not a diagnostic tool. Attachment style exists on a spectrum, can differ somewhat across relationships, and can shift over time — especially through a securely attached relationship or through therapy. If any of this resonates strongly, a conversation with a therapist is a genuinely good next step, not just a fallback option.